I’m not sure even where to begin with this one. I have spent the better part of a week thinking about this before even attempting to write about it. As you can see from my last blog, I was just in Mexico & the entire trip was amazing. The reason I was there was my brother’s marriage.
The relationship that was and isn’t anymore included dreams for the future as most do. You talk about the future, plans, hopes and dreams. They weave themselves into your thoughts and quietly remain, sometimes in the past as a memory and sometimes they appear before you.
We talked about getting married on the beach, a small intimate celebration with those closest to us. Last Wednesday, just before sunset I witnessed my vision of my wedding only I wasn’t the bride. I witnessed personal vows that were achingly similar to ones I would have imagined myself writing & speaking. I saw love and joy on their faces of two people who ‘get it’. They understand that the road ahead will be bumpy but have decided that there is no other person that they want to navigate the future with than each other.
I can say thankfully that I was deeply present for them, I was able to revel in the simplicity and beauty of their vision. He found his ‘person’ and they were able to create their vision of how they wanted their wedding to look and feel.
I won’t lie & pretend that I didn’t have moments, I did. Our parents weren’t there and that made me sad. I found myself wistfully staring into the water more than once, visualizing a different reality.
In the end, with all of the emotions, memories, thought & feelings..I was grateful.
My journey has been filled with highs and lows, with happiness & joy as well as heartbreak and failure. Had I not been through all of this, I would not have been able to completely appreciate my brother’s journey, that led him to that moment on the beach with this amazing women. They truly see each other in a way I never understood until I was able to experience it for myself.
When you have been truly seen, when you have been real and vulnerable with another person, and felt deeply and totally loved, you see things differently from that moment on. There is no returning to what you believed before, you have been fundamentally changed & you will never be happy or satisfied with less ever again.
On the beach that night, I witnessed my dream and although the starring roles were filled by different people, it was everything I ever imagined it to be.