So you may have noticed that I have been actively working to be a more positive person and to be very aware of all I have to be grateful for. What I also hope you may have noticed, I am also about sharing the good as well as the bad.
So, the other morning I was in the kitchen in the midst of my morning routine which includes dealing with the furry children as well as caffeinating myself. My coffee pot is just to the right of my kitchen sink. I looked in the sink and saw a blue cup staring back at me. So my first thought was to get some water in the cup. Since the cup was from my man-child, there is no guessing what was in it or how long ago it was used before it found its way into the sink. I moved the cup to directly under where the water flows and turned on the water. The cup was upside down. As I realized that water was not going into the cup, the first thing I remember thinking was ‘you are an idiot’.
I am a huge fan of recognition as a step toward changing things, so the good part of this was that almost immediately I realized what message I had just sent myself. I literally worked to change my negative self-talk as I turned the cup over & turned the water back on. Thankfully, it was a relatively easy lesson that morning but profound in its own way.
I am of the opinion that no matter how spiritual, positive or evolved your thinking is, we are all human beings battling years or even decades of garbage we have allowed others to feed & as well as the garbage messages we have fed ourselves. I do not believe that anyone is immune to negative, as much as negative can be unpleasant, like anything else, we need to experience everything in order to appreciate.
As I may have mentioned, I truly do feel a sense of peace surrounding me. The courage to finally give voice to what I really want to do. What surprised me, although it probably shouldn’t have, were the blues that kept wandering by to visit.
As the self-appointed queen of baby steps, I am learning to let them pull up a chair and share a cup of coffee. Although the thoughts and feelings may seem sad or lonely, they may remind me of things that no longer are, things and people who I miss, they deserve to be there as much as the peace does. If I avoid the ‘unpleasant’ feelings, I would not have the ability to recognize or revel in the amazing feeling that peace is. If you want to fully feel the happy, joy, serendipity in life, you have to be brave enough to feel the sad, the heartbreak, the grief and the loneliness. You must feel the ‘bad’ in order to cherish the ‘good’.
So, celebrate the recognition, it is a step on the path to change. Don’t try to shut out feelings that make you uncomfortable, they are only doing their job. Don’t be discouraged when you realize you are mentally bullying yourself, be proud that you realized it.