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I’m moving

in about 4 years.

I am a list maker.  I make lists for everyday things & some longer term things as well.  I was never the person though who created 5 year plans or have very specific things that they felt they need to accomplish by a certain age or number of years.

I have been working on not being stuck in the specific lately.  It gets easier the more you practice.  I’m not sure when it started happening exactly, but I realized that I was starting to add ‘conditions’ to things I wanted.  My conditions tend to be exclusions, the more I think about it, every condition I can think of is an exclusion of some sort.  When you exclude things, you cut out a lot of opportunities. When I think of my conditions, they were all put in place to make me more comfortable, things I thought were important to the way I wanted my future to go.

I’m not talking about compromising your beliefs, or lowering your expectations.  As I learn more about myself, the more secure I am about things that are true deal breakers for me.  I know the type of people I am willing to surround myself with, I know qualities I need people to have in order to have them in my life.

I mean those things you ‘think’ you want, those things that when you think of them, they make perfect sense but in  hindsight you realize are really pretty arbitrary.  When you realize you are orchastrating your life in ways that may not allow you to be open to other possibilites.

I am talking more about when you put the blinders on because you have a very specific idea of what your life should look like.  If you have a true passion for something, accomplishing that goal can be a beautiful feeling of accomplishment.  

I am not suggesting that you don’t have goals or plans, I am suggesting having them in the most general sense that you can & still be open to forks in the road or opportunities you never imagined.

I am learning to embrace being open.  The spirituality, the faith, the belief that there is a plan greater than what I can imagine out there for me.  The more I add specifics to my life, the more blocks I am potentially putting in my own way.

So, back to the ‘I’m moving’ part.

I live in a house that is too big for my needs.  It was really more than I needed from the moment I bought it except for some amazing Christmas celebrations when family from near & far descended.

I am also a person that is in no way defined by where I live. I do not feel an attachment to a state, city or town in the same way some other people are.

I made a commitment to my kids that we would stay here through high school since they were moved right before my daughter started high school.  The impact of that move and other life altering things, required stability which I am happy to provide.

Once boy/man child graduates, theoretically I can move.  I work remotely from home so I have the flexibility & luxury of being able to pick up & change my view.

So, I am planning to move sometime after my boy graduates high school but have no specific plan where I will go,down the street, across the country or even another country.  To me, that part isn’t important today.  My life can and probably will change in any number of ways in the next few years.  Being attached to a specific idea or location could create a roadblock to something even better, something that I could have never imagined on my own.

So are your plans too specific?  Do you have a detailed road map for your life?  What if all of your planning is making it harder to get to where you actually need to be? Are your goals really your own?  I know I have seen lists that included a certain job, what age they wanted to get married, when they wanted children & any number of other really specific things.  I know that I did those things partially because it is ‘what you do’.  I don’t think I ever truly thought about what I loved to do, or what I really desired.  I am glad I did those things, no regrets to be found here, but I never thought to question them 20+ years ago.

What if your life could be or is meant to be something totally different from what you can even imagine?  What if you really dream too small or take on societal expectations as your dreams without ever realizing it?

I’m not suggesting you don’t plan to finish school or not dream of thing you always wanted, maybe just look at your list, is there a way to embrace being open too?  Do you need to take off your blinders a little, maybe relax some of your deal breakers?  It’s not always easy but with practice, it really does feel more freeing.

So, I’m moving when it’s time, to where I am supposed to go for however long I am supposed to be there.


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