After much deliberation, I would choose invisibility.
Years ago, I might have also chosen the same superpower but for different reasons.
I would have wanted to know what people ‘really’ thought about me. I spent so many years wanting to be liked by others. I probably would have used my powers to see what they really thought. I would have used it to see what I could have done to change who I was in order to be accepted by people who probably never mattered.
I am also an observer by nature, I love watching people interact. I just really enjoy watching other people’s dynamics. I think of it as natural (non-stalking) curiosity. You may call it what you like.
These day, I am mostly over the whole caring what people think about me. It only took me a million years to get rid of that one.
The characteristic I have a harder time letting go of is worrying about things out of my control. I believe there is another blog post about my relatively recent awakening to the fact I can really be a control freak. I was actually suprised by that ephipany, perhaps I shouldn’t have been but shocked, I was.
I want to check in on people and see if they are doing well. Are they happy or struggling? What is going on in their lives?
It is a lovely idea on the surface but not so lovely when I travel beneath the surface. I fight the urge to be a fixer. I want to make things better for people.
The not so lovely is two-fold – it distracts me from working on my own personal ‘fixing’ as well as quite frankly it is none of my business & it’s not my job. Personally, it stems from not truly letting go of things that are none of my business anymore.
Those people in my life that I love & trust, share with me what is going on in their lives so there is really no need to be invisible or even curious. If I am curious, a phone call or text have the ability to clear it up.
I know that people are actually completely capable of managing and even thriving in their own lives without my interference (well most of the time). I also know that while I am far from perfect, people who were an important part of my life, even if they are no longer a part of it, know deep down that I am always rooting for them no matter what happened in the past or how long ago they left.
So after careful consideration I shall return my superpower, I will continue to work toward giving up my need to make things better for other people.
I will switch the focus back on what I can & should control & accept, me.