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The people who hurt me the most…..

So I was watching Super Soul Sunday with Shirley MacLaine.

Oprah asked her (paraphrasing potentially)…..

…Who were your greatest spiritual teachers……….

Answer:  The people who hurt me the most

Yes, please take a moment & absorb that, I needed to.

After instant replaying the reply in my head, I realized that she had something there.

I think it is amazing when on a journey of self discovery & learning to find people who ‘speak’ to you.  To find writers and speakers who make the light bulbs go on & let you see something in that slightly different way that causes one of those amazing moments of clarity in yourself.

But the more I thought about what Shirley said, the more I agreed with her.  It’s in the lessons we need to learn, that growth occurs.  Often, until we are ‘hurt’ we can ignore things.  Those lessons that just repeat over & over.  When someone ‘hurts’ us, we have the choice to become a victim, to hibernate & isolate, to become angry & bitter, or to really look at it.

Sometimes we can do all of those things, much like the stages of grief, it is more like a game of pinball where we tend to bounce all over the place, never really in a simple linear beginning to end pattern.  Much more often we find ourselves bouncing all over the place with those flipper things keeping us popping around.

Those who hurt us can actually be our greatest teachers, because it is personal.  The pain we feel when people hurt us is all about us.  It is the pain we feel, the feelings that we have, when we are hurt.  It actually is the perfect time to get in there & figure out why it hurts, what nerve did it hit, what can it show us, what are we supposed to learn…

I don’t know that I have the answers but I agree, if we are willing to really feel it, examine it, and go deep inside our own insecurities, I believe those people really can be our greatest teachers & some of our most important lessons.

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