This morning is rainy & after 2 days of not writing, I decided I would mention my ‘playing’ this past weekend for this blog. As thoughts began whirling through my head, the rain took me back to 2 different times that I am adding in. I am not proud to admit that yesterday was a day of recovery from little people. Funny how quickly one gets out of practice of entertaining ‘little’s’ when your own become teenagers.
Saturday evening (dragging my 14yr old boy child with us) we walked to the park. At 4 & 7, there is an endless fountain of energy that requires more than ‘just hanging out’.
Going to the park for me consists of standing around watching very young people, bounce from area to area. So I started with the ‘stand around’ & then decided that I wanted to play too.
So I did —
Down some of the slides, alone & with little people
Swinging on the swings, alone & with little people
Why yes that was me climbing onto the play structures when I wasn’t spotting monkeys on monkey bars.
It was fun & I am so glad I did it. It is so easy to forget how to just play sometimes.
So my ‘Rain’ stories
One night while still in college, I was working as a waitress. When the shift was done & we all were leaving, it was raining. My initial reaction, run! But on this night, for whatever reason we stood in the rain. I may have twirled, I may not have but it was my first adult memory of just standing in the rain, on purpose, just because. When I think about that night, most is faded, but not the rain.
The second came from a ‘Bucket List’ board on Pinterest, I created while ago. Among a lot of other things, these are there:
Dance under the stars
Slow dance in the rain
Kiss in the rain
On one special night, I was able to complete these things. It wasn’t my plan, it was his. We left dinner on a cold & rainy night, returning to the car. We started to leave but he stopped in the middle of the parking lot. He got out of the car & walked to my side.
On that cold rainy night, it was perfect. I was loved & I loved.
Today, I can actually think of that night, instead of feeling sadness & grief over what I lost, I feel an overwhelming feeling of gratitude & love.
This personal journey stuff, this moving on process is just that, still a process, but having the ‘good’ feelings greatly outweigh the sad ones give me hope that this whole baby step thing is actually working.