I am going to try to stay true to how this experience felt but I know that no matter how hard I try, it will not convey how well the questions were actually asked or the calm, centered voice on the other end of the phone facilitating the exercise.
Look at a time in the future, say 2 or 5 years, what does your life look like?
Wow, no pressure there. But honestly, a good coach apparently knows how to guide you with the right questions to help you get over the inital ‘I don’t know’ that was begging to be said. They slowly add questions that enable you to realize maybe, just maybe you actually do know. Geography, weather, type of dwelling you want to occupy, house, condo, big or small etc. What does it feel like?
I think above all of the other questions, that one stuck with me the most.
What does it feel like?
What are you doing? Are you working. retired? What do you do when you get up in the morning? Do you have a partner? What do you want in that relationship?
My partner didn’t need to have a ‘face’, I focused on what I want in a partner, the type of relationship I wanted to have. I wasn’t aware I already had all of the answers floating around inside me until she asked questions that that prompted me to see and feel where I want to be in 5 years. Listening to the quiet guiding questions allowed me to decide what I wanted in my life & for my life. I was able to give voice to what was important to me, what I want it to look like and feel like as I have never done before. It helped me see a ‘big picture’ with enough specific things included to know it was mine.
It resonated with me deeply because I feel so caught up in the day to day of my life. Work, kids, dogs, meals, errands, homework all conspire to keep me firmly in the day to day. I dream & I hope but I never really sat down to dedicate time to think about the future in that personal way.
It has kept me thinking days later, it has somehow opened something inside, other things I want to include in my life. Hobbies, creative things I want to try.
It wasn’t ‘when the kids grow up’ or ‘when I retire’ it wasn’t a sweeping generalization it was just me sitting quietly letting my thoughts flow. It was a bit of magic.
After we finished, my visual snapshot of the future was recited back to me so I could hear it. This exercise wasn’t used to create a detailed plan or a blueprint on how to get there, it was for me to create, visualize & actually feel things I wanted for myself & for it to be put out into the universe.
What does it feel like, is my new favorite question.
I am starting to ask myself the question more and more in the last few days.
I wonder if we start asking slightly different questions or ask the same questions in a different way, what cool things we can discover? Maybe it can help answer questions that you always reply ‘I don’t know’ to.
Instead of ‘What should I do’? What if next time you asked ‘What do I want it to feel like’ or ‘What do I want it to look like’? Will it work in all situations? Who knows, maybe it will lead to something even better.
I want to take a moment to tell you a little about Regena.
Regena Garrepy is (borrowed from her own ‘About Me’ section on her website) a recovering Good Girl & perfectionist. She uses words like badass visionary, bye bye good girl & sh*tty list of should’s which is what originally caught my attention. She found her passion & is living her dream. Ever wondered about a life coach? Go check her links out, she is special.
Take a look at her website & facebook page