& it’s only Wednesday

No there is no point to this blog today…..there is no need to even read it, I just needed to type (slowly) & complain….feel free to move to the next one


Physician heal thyself……….

Easier said than done as we all know……It is so much easier to ‘know’ what you should do than to actually ‘do it’

I guess sometimes you just want something so badly that you subconsciously believe that your sheer desire will somehow cause it to come true even when you know the reality is something totally different…..

sorry….not so much the point of this blog post…..

So it has been a rough week so far….

I have this talent (apparently) that every couple of years, I sleep wrong & it becomes either a dislocated shoulder or as is the case this time…a subluxation (partial dislocation)…..not the best way to start a week & the guarantee of bad sleep since you wake up every time you move….for nights on end…not so good for your health in general, physical, psychological or emotional…..

I also quit smoking…..I went the Chantix route this time since no other way has been successful….today is the beginning of week 6 of the pills & the beginning of week 5 of not smoking……mostly

Up until yesterday, I was totally successful…..besides the physical issues, I have been emotional too, so I decided ‘screw it’ & went out & bought a pack yesterday.  I had 1 yesterday & it tasted like crap….God Forbid I just throw the rest of the pack out, I hid them until this morning.

I had 1, & it still tasted like crap…..yup tried 1 more….so freakin nauseous……I threw them out……

I’m kinda sad that they didn’t make me feel better…..I get it, it’s a good thing they taste nasty & are making me sick but I wanted them to make me feel better……

I think I feel even more pathetic….I’m sad that the cigarette didn’t make me feel better instead of being proud or happy that smoking is now making me sick….there are moments that I even scare myself…ha

See no point to this post outside of my personal venting….


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