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The greatest lesson we forget to teach

Parents are actually human beings too

Seems silly at first but it’s actually really profound (If I do say so myself)

Think about it for a moment.

Why would they think of us that way?

We have them and we are totally responsible for everything in their lives

We feed them, clothe them, take care of them, teach them & love them.

We literally do everything for them; they are totally dependent on us for their very existence.

As they grow and learn, you are always a part of it.

You are their parent (or in my case, their mom).

The parent role supersedes any silly ‘I am just a person’ role.

You have become something much bigger, you automatically are their ‘true north’ (no stress there)

They need you, you are bigger, hopefully smarter, you are their world for a long time.

You are both super hero & super villain.

There is no one better than you are to them & no one worse.

At no time do we actually tell them that, we have been human so much longer than we have been parents.

We teach them to be kind and nice to others

We teach them to be grateful & respectful

We try to teach them how not to embarrass us in public (come on admit it)

We tend not to connect the dots back to ourselves though

While we hope our children learn the wonderful lessons we try to teach them, often they don’t realize that these lessons should extend to their parents as well

It is usually simply a matter of taking those most important for us for granted.

They love you but in reality they see you as a parent not a person & on occasion those two things can be opposite ends of the spectrum.

If I look back, I was really an adult when I realized that my parents were just like me, doing the best they could but with far greater responsibility.

When they raised us, they were just doing the best they could (like me).  They didn’t get a parental crystal ball, they made decisions good & bad.  They went to bed at night taking all of their insecurities and baggage with them like I do.

One night, not too long ago, I actually had the conversation with my kids.

I honestly don’t even remember what happened but apparently my feelings got hurt & I decided that it was time for a reality check.

So I confessed, while I love my superhero position in their world, that my feelings can be hurt too.

I can be taken for granted

I can & do get frustrated, I make mistakes (that I often pray aren’t life altering), feel dismissed and disrespected.

I have really good kids & in fairness I think of this as a failing on my part.

My kids have seen me happy, sad, frustrated etc., they still saw me experiencing these emotions as their mom.

Nothing wrong with that since I am that, but realizing that I am an imperfect, insecure, (adult imposter) I think was actually a pretty valuable lesson.

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7 thoughts on “The greatest lesson we forget to teach

  1. Sooo impressed you had “the conversation” with them. That’s a great reminder for us. Communication with them about our real feelings…I guess that’s the only way they can begin to see us as humans.

  2. It was such a moment of enlightenment when I realized that she has probably experienced the same insecurities, hopes, fears, dreams as me. I spent most of my life thinking of her in a way as two dimensional, if that makes sense. Now I see her interacting with her friends and mine and I think, “Wow, I would have liked having her as a friend, there is more than her than just being my mom!” 🙂 Thanks for a great post!

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