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I’ve got one……how bout you?

I have a fear of heights

I mean I hate spiders too but I don’t think that I would qualify to have the phobia

I don’t know why or exactly what happened to cause this fear but I do know I fell down the basement stairs & fell off a bunk bed ladder back when I was a child.  Perhaps one of those triggered it but regardless it is my one real deal phobia.

I absolutely can’t do bleachers, there are never the right height rails or banisters & there are no seatbelts.  When I try (which I have) I literally feel like I am going to fall or tumble out of my seat.  I can visualize this happening.  Small bleachers, I can deal with if I must, but I mean stadium, way high up, ‘nosebleed seats’ specifically.

We went to Ireland on our honeymoon and visited the Cliffs Of Moher.  They are truly unbelievable, this amazing site.  Well the rail is situated well before the actual cliffs.  They allow people to go to the edge.  So no, there was never a though of really moving past the rail in my head.  My fear in that situation actually transferred to total strangers that were at the edge, looking over or whatever the hell those lunatics were doing.  I wanted to be sick, for them.  I literally felt ill for them.  They apparently had no such fear.  For real, look at that picture, not from my honeymoon but seriously???

from google images --

Huge escalators make me unbelievably uncomfortable too.  I have been in a few hotels or casinos that have these ridiculously sized escalators.  I can make it up without being too ill, but the idea of going down is a process.  I have done it but I am not the person who just walks to it and gets on it.  I am the person standing there talking to myself (probably out loud sometimes too).

So this is just something I live with.  For the most part it doesn’t impact my world, I would much rather have better seats at a stadium or theater & really not walking to the edge of a cliff I’m ok with.

Like we all do, we adjust in life and make it work.  More often than not, my life is not hindered by not going to the top of a building.

I don’t like ladders but when I have to be on a ladder, I am.  I generally feel uncomfortable at the top of a staircase & I don’t like to see people standing at the top of a staircase.  I will hesitate for a second to figure out how quickly I can grab the railing to descend safely.

My kids have taken on my crazy.

They say they don’t like heights.  They might not like them, but they do not have the fear at the level I do & I know that to a certain extent it is because of me.

Since I am doing more thinking than usual with all of the changes going on in my life I realized something.  I have a hypothesis, my phobia is actually not having support.  I think I fear not having something to ‘hold on to’ more than the actual height.  Ok fine I don’t like the height either but when I think about it, I am looking for the railing to hold on to, the support that appears never to exist when I need it most.

I want to zip line.  Based on all of the words I just typed, that would seem somewhat illogical.  I even think that maybe I can do it.  For some reason the idea of being attached to the line, being in that get-up somehow gives me a sense that maybe I could do it.  I mean I would love to do it in Costa Rica but perhaps starting locally would be better.

For some reason I feel as though the ‘support’ there would make my fear manageable.

So that is one of the things I want to try.  I will let you know provided I don’t back out & survive.  Oh yeah, and if I am willing to climb up to the base where you need to get to in order to actually do the zip line.

What’s your phobia?

2 thoughts on “I’ve got one……how bout you?

  1. i share the same fear. the theme can’t help but melting into my writing too. check out my fiction–its very compassionate toward the height fear.

  2. For me my phobias have actually changed over the years. I can remember as a kid in the store with my Mom and being deathly afraid of being left behind. Always looking around to make sure that she was in eyesight as if she was about to make a run for it at any moment (I’m sure she wanted to deep down 😛 ). Then as I got older into my teen years, while transitioning from a 1st through 8th grade Catholic school to a public high school, I was fearful of girls. It didn’t last too long but I had no experience with girls other than my sister (like that was any help in what I was looking for) and I was always afraid I was going to screw things up, say something wrong or, God forbid, look goofy. Later into my adult years ironically I was afraid to fly. I say ironically because back then and even to this day I travel on average about two weeks out of every month and it is a big part of my life. In my early thirties the fear was so bad I actually had to force myself on to flights and NEVER ever sit at a window seat. I even went so far as one time to cancel a business trip from the gate because I just couldn’t get on the plane. My own self analysis of that fear is that deep down it was a fear of death and it somehow came out through my necessity to travel by air.

    Finally, my most recent fear is of drowning in the ocean. I say “in the ocean” because I have no fears in a pool and never had. I was actually a certified life guard through high school and even saved some friends once on a class trip. I’m not certain where this fear developed but it came to light when I went to Hawaii several years ago and while swimming out to meet my son on a sand bar I had what I now know as a panic attack that scared the CRAP out of me and was so bad I had to turn around and go back to shore and recover. This phobia continues for me today but perhaps, hopefully, it will move on like the rest of them. But, I hope going forward that nothing replaces it. 😉

    I guess the long (MOSTLY long) and short of it is that at least for me phobias come and go and like you said we just have to learn to adjust and live with them the best we can. 🙂

    btw… sorry for hijacking your blog. You touched on a good subject. 🙂

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