Here is some of the fine print you never see…
– At the beginning of this journey you don’t sleep because they don’t sleep
- You may get a little time in the middle when your kids actually start sleeping but no worries, sleep will elude you again soon, when they decide to do things at night
– You were given your taxi drivers license at the birth of your child
- When they are little your taxi shift is usually during daylight hours
- As they get older, your shift become the night shift
– When your kids are little you ask if it gets better, honest mothers will tell you not really, it just changes
- When they are little you are following them around, trying to keep them out of trouble and keeping injuries to bandaids
- The older they get, you may not literally follow them, but you are still employing your mom super powers to try to keep them out of trouble & help them try to navigate through their teen years, still trying to keep these less physical more emotional injuries to bandaids too
– Privacy is a thing of the past
- Going to the bathroom, showering without interruption is a distant memory. No worries the memory will fade when you are yelling at them to leave you alone for 2 freakin minutes
– Leisurely mornings are filed under beautiful memories like privacy – here is a current example (based on the mom of teens ‘joy’)
- Alarm is set (no, that would be your alarm mom, not theirs)
- You struggle out of bed to wake up said children…
- You get to their rooms to wake them up because for some bizarre reason, children don’t hear alarms but parents are required to
- After first useless attempt at waking them, you stumble to the kitchen for liquid reinforcement
- if you are insane like me, you have made your own life more difficult, you let the dogs out, food & water for them too.
- If you are lucky you have been able to sip before yelling back to said offspring to ‘re-wake’ them up.
- Oh wait, don’t forget to remind them about brushing teeth, deodorant, brushing hair……
- If you are very lucky, you might have a puppy who needs to be let out multiple times if you have any shot at not cleaning up after her ‘in the house’
- Do you hear the shower running? Yell again to check
- These are teens for pete’s sake not toddlers
I could literally go on & on…..
No worries, I probably will just not right now…..don’t tell anyone but I actually have a few minutes of silence so I am going to enjoy it….more to come