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Alice? Hazel? Rosey the robot?

While I am trying to learn how I have changed, what things I still like and enjoy and what I don’t, I have a clear understanding one at least one thing.  I HATE CLEANING!  I have never liked it and never will.

I like clean, I want things to be clean.  I want my house and things to look and be clean.  I just don’t want to exert any energy into it getting clean.

Some people apparently enjoy cleaning.  That is one of those things that I will just never understand.  There are scads of blogs, websites, products and infomercials all promising the cleanest, most sparkly, best smelling who knows what.  They bombard you.

Me, I want self-cleaning everything.  I want a maid, housecleaner, a service or even kids that actually get stuff clean when I force them to do something.

I don’t need a central vacuum; I need one that does the work without my assistance.  I need bigger and smarter than those little ones that propel themselves on the floor freaking out cats and dogs everywhere.

I need not only children that clean up after themselves; I need a self-cleaning shower and toilet.  I want dishes to understand that the sink is a short term resting place and they need to get themselves into the dishwasher.  I would like the counters to know when there are crumbs everywhere from the hit and runs my kids like to do and get clean itself.

The worst is when you give up and realize that you must clean and you have to do something like clean the inside of the fridge.  It is so disturbing to spend time and energy into cleaning something no one can really see.  I don’t need an award when things are clean (although it would be nice) but when you expend that much energy and no one knows or cares?  Pure torture.

So you have teens you might say.  Well as a matter of fact, yes I do.  So not only do they contribute to the unclean more than they clean, they also shockingly enough don’t enjoy cleaning either.

Theoretically they help (well in a twist their arms, remind them 12 times kind of way).  I know I am asking too much but apparently when you tell a child to empty the dishwasher the following things happen.

It happens in their time

They empty regardless of if everything is totally clean

They don’t care a bit about where things actually go and never think to ask

Unless expressly told, if there is anything clean outside of the ‘dishwasher’ it will be ignored, the reply will always be, ‘you told me to empty the dishwasher’

Gotta love reaching for a coffee mug and wondering why you need to rewash it before putting anything into it at 6:30am when you are still stumbling around.

Then to just make sure I cement the crazy firmly into my life, I have animals too.  Not only do I have pets, I got a puppy.  Surely I’m joking right?  I mean a puppy is a toddler and quite frankly with teens, the only toddler allowed in my world is my niece.  Nope, the woman who was done with animals, who already has an OCD dog, cat with an attitude and a freakin goldfish got a puppy.

That friends is a totally different blog post…..

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